How to Win the Surgeon's Heart Page 15

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, you don’t feel well? Do you have a fever?”

  Sasha stood at her door in pajamas and shook her head at her mom. There was no way she could go to that gala. She thought she could. Thought she could hold her head up high and face Formal Nate, all decked out in his finest garb. But she couldn’t.

  “Sasha, you’re scaring me. Did you get the results back from the test?”

  She’d convinced her uncle Art to tell her mom about his illness, but there was a string attached. She had to come clean about the genetic test she’d taken.

  But she wished now that she’d waited until after the gala was over. Her mom had been obsessed and worried and had almost said she couldn’t do the catering. Sasha had panicked and begged her to please go through with it. It would mean a lot to the island and a lot to her. Besides, her mom needed something to keep her mind off things she couldn’t control.

  “I didn’t. But this has nothing to do with amyloidosis. My stomach is just in knots. It was a hard day at work, and I’m exhausted.” That last part was a lie, but the part about her stomach was very true. But it was in knots from nerves and heartache over what had happened with Nate. She probably should have taken his calls and just come clean about her feelings, but the grinding sense of despair had kept her from doing that. She hadn’t wanted to believe the worst about Austin, only to find out it was very true. It crushed her to think that Nate might be cut from the very same cloth.

  Wasn’t it better to assume, thereby avoiding having the actual facts slap her right in the face?

  She didn’t know, but she was running on fumes right now, and the gala wasn’t the place to tackle those hard questions. Maybe after it was over, she’d make an appointment to see him.

  Make an appointment.

  God, she’d made love to the man, and yet she didn’t have the courage to march into his office and tell him she needed to ask him a question. Whether or not he was the person she hoped he was, or whether he was the person she feared he was.

  “Is this about Nate?” Her mom’s voice cut through her musings like a knife, slashing into emotions that were already raw.

  “What? Of course not.”

  Her mom stared at her, then grabbed her arms and led her over to the sofa. “Oh, honey, tell me. Are you afraid of the diagnosis?”

  Sasha couldn’t suppress a laugh that quickly turned to a gasping sob. She hadn’t been. It hadn’t even crossed her mind since that day at his cottage. Until now. And no matter how many times she’d told herself otherwise—told herself to think rationally—it was like one more nail hitting the coffin containing her hopes and dreams. She somehow got hold of herself. “No. That’s not it.”

  “Then what?”

  How could she say the actual words? She couldn’t, so she simply said, “He’s rich.”

  Tessi looked into her face. “Oh, honey. Nate is not Austin.”

  The bottom of her chin trembled as she took in those words. “But what if he is?” The question came out in whispered tones.

  “I can’t answer that question. All I can do is tell you to search your heart. Deep down, you know the truth. But until you believe it, until you pull it into your soul and hold it tight, you’re not going to listen to what anyone says.” She patted her cheek. “I have to go. But think about it. What I will say is don’t wait too long to come to a conclusion. Because you might just find out you missed a chance at something that doesn’t come along every day. Something like I had with your dad.”

  With that, Tessi stood. “I need to get going. Call me if you need anything. I’ll answer, even if it’s in the middle of the gala.” With that she let herself out the door, going to the very place where Sasha should be going.

  * * *

  Nate spotted Tessi over by one of the long banquet tables setting out hors d’oeuvres. He went over to her. When she saw him, she put the lid on the tray she was holding and smiled. “Your guests will be arriving soon.”

  “Everything looks wonderful—thank you so much.” He hesitated. “Is Sasha here? She mentioned she would be helping you serve tonight.”

  “No.” She fixed him with a look. “She was feeling under the weather and decided to stay home.”

  That wasn’t like Sasha. If he knew anything about her, it was that she was serious about her commitments. Was that why she’d run off like she had the last morning they were together? Was she afraid of being pressed to make a commitment she wouldn’t be able to keep? Well, she wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. He wasn’t going to press her for anything.

  “Is it something serious?”

  “I’m sorry, but I need to get back to the catering.”

  Real worry crawled down his spine. “Tessi, what’s wrong with her?”

  She looked at him for a minute, then shook her head. “That’s not for me to say.” She started to walk away, then stopped and turned to face him. “Do you think there’s a difference between those of us who are here to serve food and those who come to eat that food?”

  He frowned, not sure what she was saying. “No. Of course not.”

  She smiled. “That’s all I needed to hear.” With that she turned and moved to another long serving table, her hands working over it with a grace and elegance that reminded him of her daughter’s hands as she’d stitched up their accident patient.

  He had no idea what she’d meant by her question, but sensed it was important. Critical. And that it had something to do with Sasha.

  Do you think there’s a difference between those of us who are here to serve food and those who come to eat that food?

  Sasha had told him she was going to help her mom serve the food. And when he’d asked her to help him greet guests, instead, something in her face had changed. A wariness had come over her. When he’d pressed her, she’d bolted.

  Why?

  He stood there, his mind mulling Tessi’s words until they were burned into his brain.

  Then something sliced through him like a hemostatic scalpel, cutting and cauterizing as it went. And he knew what was wrong. At least he thought he did.

  Austin.

  The rich boyfriend she’d had at Harvard who’d cast her aside after five years of dating. She’d said enough about him that Nate knew that relationship had wounded her deeply.

  What had Sasha said to him one time? I’m hoping I was wrong about you. Nate had told her he hoped she was wrong too.

  Maybe she’d taken his request for her to greet guests the wrong way. He’d never meant to imply that helping her mom serve was any less important. Tessi was a smart woman. She’d asked him that question for a reason.

  Hell, in trying to go slow, in trying to court her, he’d sent a message he’d never meant to send.

  So what was he going to do about it?

  He was going to go see her and confess to his real crime. That he loved her and had been too much of a coward to tell her that last night they were together. And if she kicked him out of her house?

  Well, then he’d know he was wrong. That she really didn’t love him. And he would accept it and go on. But there was no way he was giving up without at least trying.

  He made his way back over to where Tessi stood. She glanced over at him as if she knew. And she smiled. “I forgot to say you look very nice. Very...sophisticated.”

  Nate took the heavy tray from her. “Where is she?”

  “At home.” Tessi rattled off an address that Nate committed to memory.

  He then bent down and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for everything. For doing such a wonderful job here. And for teaching your daughter to be the incredible woman she is.” He motioned to the tray. “Where do you want this?”

  “Those happen to be extras. Why don’t you find someone to share them with?”

  He laughed. She was not very subtle. But then she was like h
er daughter. Direct. Sometimes blunt. But with a heart of gold. A heart he wasn’t sure he deserved.

  But he was damned well going to try to win it.

  “Thanks for the food. I’ll return the tray.” He could not believe he was about to run out on a gala that could very well provide another year’s worth of funding for both The Island Clinic and Saint Victoria Hospital. But Frank Seldridge had been his backup for the last two years and would do an admirable job of holding down the fort. He found his friend talking to one of the early arrivals. Nate greeted them with a smile, his chest tight with the need to get away, to go find Sasha.

  He murmured to Frank, “I have somewhere I need to be. I really need you to step in for me tonight. Can you do it?”

  The surgeon, who was well on the way to working a miracle on Merriam Blankenship, could perform just as big a miracle tonight. The man took one look at the covered silver tray in Nate’s hands and glanced up in his face. Whatever he read there must have convinced him. “Go. We’ll be fine.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Oh, and Nate...” He chuckled. “Best of luck.”

  He appreciated it, because he was going to need it.

  He hurried down the front steps, only to run smack-dab into his parents. He’d totally forgotten they were coming tonight. But he didn’t have time for this right now.

  “Nathaniel, how nice to see you,” his father said. “Nice little place you have here.”

  Was he kidding? Before he had a chance to respond, his mom took him by the shoulders and gave him an air kiss on the cheek. “Why are you holding that tray, dear?”

  Said as if everything between them was perfectly normal. Well, he wasn’t going to stand around and chitchat. If they wanted to talk to him, they could get in line. Behind the person who meant more than anything in this world to him. “I’m taking some food to a...friend.”

  What else could he call her? He certainly didn’t know if she was going to kick him out on his ass the second he showed up at her house.

  He gave them both a smile that he hoped looked genuine enough and said, “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you later, but please stay and see what it is I’ve been up to for the last three years.”

  With that, he turned and headed out to the parking lot.

  * * *

  Nate drove as fast as he safely could, although the ride to Williamtown still seemed to take forever. But then he was entering the main street of the town, glancing at the address he’d scribbled onto a scrap of paper. He drove slowly down a side street that was less than a mile from the hospital. The white house was modest but neat, a tended garden out front boasting a colorful array of flowers, while a huge bougainvillea sprawled over an archway, behind which was a dark red door.

  He felt a little stupid standing there in a tuxedo holding a silver tray. But he had a feeling words were not going to be enough right now. He knocked on the door.

  He waited for a minute, wondering if she could see him and would refuse to open the door. Then he heard the sound of a lock snicking. The door opened.

  Sasha stood there in an...evening gown? Then she tilted her head and stared at him, her glance trailing over him. “Nate? What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at the gala.”

  “I’m playing hooky.”

  “You’re playing what?” Her eyes widened. “Is that my mother’s tray?” Her hand went to her mouth, then a string of Creole words poured out, searing the air around them. “Did she send you here?”

  “No, she didn’t. And I won’t ask you what you just said.”

  Her lips twitched the tiniest bit. “Good. Because you might not like the answer.”

  “Can I come in? Your mom’s tray is rather heavy.”

  She glanced down at herself. “I was just getting ready to go to...”

  He realized why she had the dress on. “You were coming?”

  “Yes. I decided I had some unfinished business.”

  A flare of hope surged through him. Sasha stepped aside and let him in, directing him to set the tray on a pass-through counter that divided the living room from the kitchen.

  “I like your house.”

  “Thanks.”

  The furnishings were clean and comfortable, and she had a flare for decorating. The room pulled you in and invited you to stay.

  He realized how cold his own house might have appeared with its more formal furnishings. But the houses were all decorated alike, in case they needed to be pulled into service as extra places to house guests.

  But looking at it after what he’d figured out, he could see how it might have seemed to Sasha. And his request that she greet guests... Hell. He wasn’t sure how to make it right. Except she was dressed in formal wear, the green fabric of her dress hugging her slender curves to a tee. She said she’d been getting ready to come to the gala. That she had unfinished business.

  With him?

  She seemed to gather her composure. “Why are you here?”

  “This is where I should be. Where I needed to be. But let me ask you this. Why are you here, rather than at the gala?”

  “I was late in coming to a decision.”

  He took a step closer. “Care to tell me what that decision is?”

  “I—I...”

  Taking one of her hands in his, he said, “Okay, I’ll go first. I have something I need to tell you.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes.” He led her over to the couch. Then his gaze held hers as he prepared to pour out his heart and soul. “I don’t know what you think of me, Sash, or what you think you know of me, but... I’m not rich.”

  “What?” Shock went through her face.

  “It’s true. I sank every penny of my trust fund into the clinic. I earn a salary as a doctor and as the chief of staff, but it’s not a hefty one. Because that’s not what I want. That’s not why I’m there.” He drew the words out very slowly.

  “But your house...”

  “It’s a cookie-cutter house, made just like all the rest of them. We made everything to pull double duty, if necessary.”

  Her eyes traveled over his tuxedo, touching the collar, sliding over his bow tie. “You look very nice.”

  “So do you. But then you’re beautiful no matter what you’re wearing. Or not wearing.” He smiled and took both her hands, doing his best not to get sidetracked this time. “I need you to know that even if I were wealthy. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would still want to be on this island, doing exactly what I’m doing. I would still be the same man who’s sitting next to you right now.”

  “I figured that out just a little while ago. It’s why I’d decided to come to the gala.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I misjudged you again. I’m sorry, Nate.”

  “I realize now how I might have come across at the house. I wanted you to be with me to greet the guests because... I love you, Sasha. Not for any other reason.”

  “And I thought you—”

  “I know.”

  “My mom?”

  He paused. “Not exactly. She was careful not to say very much. But it was enough that I realized how my words might have come across. I promise—I want nothing more from you than a chance to be with you. For the long haul. Not just for five years.” He let that sink in for a minute before going on. “Not for ten years. But for the rest of our lives.”

  She leaned against him, putting her head on his shoulder. “I feel like such a fool. My mom told me you were nothing like...”

  “Austin?”

  “I was so afraid to believe, to just listen to my heart.”

  “I know. Me too.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. “Looks like we both have some growing to do. As individuals. And as a couple.”

  “You never entertained other women at your house? The toothbrush, the toiletries?”

  “All in case a
guest needed to use the house unexpectedly. I would have vacated and slept in my office.”

  “Of course.” She drew in a deep breath. “Can you forgive me?”

  “There’s nothing to forgive, although my parents seemed pretty peeved at my leaving them standing on the steps of the conference center.”

  She sat up and looked at him. “You didn’t?”

  “I did. And I don’t regret it. If they really want to reconnect, they’ll try again. If they don’t, then...” He gave a shrug.

  Her face got very still. “Wait. We can’t. Not until I find out the results of my test.”

  “Do you really think that would change things?”

  “It should. You don’t have to—”

  He stopped what she was going to say with a kiss. “Yes. I do. I love you. I don’t want to live without you. That is, unless you don’t...”

  “I do. But then I’m sure my very discreet mother already let that cat out of the bag too.”

  “Actually, she didn’t. But she did hint that I might want to take that tray and make a beeline for your house.”

  Sasha laughed, the sound lighter and more carefree than anything he’d heard in a while. And it was sweeter than the finest symphony.

  “Well, it’s a good thing. Because if you hadn’t, I would have stormed that gala and yelled at the top of my lungs until someone found you and brought you to me.” She sighed. “I realized what a mistake I was making. I love you too, by the way.”

  “Thank God. And if you’d shown up, I would have been honored to have you standing by my side or to have you helping your mom with the catering. You’re my other half, Sasha. The one I didn’t realize I was missing.”

  “How about if neither of us goes to the gala. What if we both stay right here?”

  “I like the way you think.”

  She toyed with his bow tie, giving it a playful tug. “Think they’ll miss us?”

  “It wouldn’t matter if they do.” He smiled at her. “Why? Do you have something in mind?”

  This time the tug on his tie was serious and succeeding in loosening the knot enough that it hung free around his neck.