The Doctors' Baby Miracle Page 7

  “I have to scrub for surgery in a few hours.”

  “And you’ve had no sleep?” Anger zipped up her spine, more at herself than him. “You needed the rest more than I did.”

  “I said I didn’t sleep. But I did rest. I’ve done this before. And it’s not a complicated surgery.”

  Was there really any uncomplicated fetal surgery? From her perspective, no. But maybe there were degrees of difficulty in his field the same way her high-risk pregnancy field had different levels. Preeclampsia was different from full-blown eclampsia.

  “What type of surgery?”

  “The fetus has a diaphragmatic hernia.”

  Uncomplicated?

  She didn’t think so. A diaphragmatic hernia meant that a hole in the diaphragm was allowing abdominal organs to move into the chest cavity. Mortality rates could be high. “How bad is it?”

  “It’s one of the better cases I’ve seen. The heart and lungs are displaced, but the hole isn’t large enough to allow widespread movement between the chest and the abdomen. If I can stretch an abdominal muscle over the spot as a kind of patch, it should help everything to stay put.”

  “What about the heart and lungs?”

  “They should move back into place on their own. The patient is at twenty-nine weeks, so if we can keep her from going into labor right away, things should have a chance to right themselves before Tony is born.”

  “Tony?”

  One side of his mouth quirked as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “It’s the name they’ve chosen for the baby.”

  He’d cared enough to learn the baby’s name?

  Oh, God. A truckload of memories careened her way: Tucker speaking to her abdomen when she’d been carrying Grace. Tucker saying the baby’s name over and over, believing she would hear it and have a sense of identity from the moment she was born.

  He’d been right. She had seemed to know her name, eyes flickering with what could have been recognition soon after birth. Did he even remember?

  “You used to talk to Grace before she was born, remember?”

  He leaned back in his chair. “I do.”

  Not the most elaborate response, but at least he hadn’t shut her down. She wished they could have sat and shared what they’d each loved most about their daughter, but they’d been too busy fighting each other to sit down and remember the good times.

  “Do you talk to your patients while you operate?”

  She could very easily imagine him doing that, telling them to hang in there, that he was going to try to fix whatever was wrong with their tiny bodies.

  “The sedation we use for the mothers carries over to the babies, so they can’t hear me.” He paused for several long seconds. “But, yes. I talk to them.”

  She’d watched him operate before, cradling those tiny forms in his hands, moving with such care.

  And he talked to them. The way he’d talked to Grace.

  A rush of strong emotion welled up inside her, blinding her for an instant. She took a deep breath and let it out in a long silent stream, trying not to examine her feelings too closely, afraid of what she might find lurking there.

  She stood, dropping the blanket onto the sofa, and went around to the other side of the desk. “I’m so glad.”

  “Glad about what?”

  A strange hoarseness had invaded his voice.

  “That you talk to them.”

  Before she realized what was happening, he’d wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her onto his lap. Then his mouth was on hers. And her world exploded. He hadn’t wanted to touch her in a very long time, so to have him kissing her as if he couldn’t get enough was heady. And terrifying.

  Right now, she didn’t care about patient charts or medical conferences or anything else.

  A kaleidoscope of memories sent her reeling back through time, bits and pieces of the torn fabric of their old life sliding together to form something old but something totally different from what had been before.

  The man who hadn’t wanted to touch her, who’d shunned her embrace was suddenly not that man anymore. Instead, he was the person she’d known while they’d been dating, the husband who’d talked to his daughter through her stomach. The lover who’d shown her peaks she’d never known existed.

  His lips turned hard and demanding in an instant, his tongue delving deep into her mouth as if he hadn’t tasted her a thousand times over during their years together.

  It was all new—all old.

  One hand went to the back of her head, his fingers diving into her hair, his palm cradling her skull as he deepened the kiss even more. A sound erupted from the back of her throat. She tensed, afraid it would drive him away from her. It didn’t. If anything, it pushed him closer.

  He lifted her off his lap with a suddenness that left her reeling.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

  He stood, scooping her up until she was cradled against his chest, and then he was moving toward the other side of the room.

  Her mouth watered when she realized where he was going. All kinds of mental images flashed through her mind and she already knew that all of them would fall far short of what Tucker could make her feel. Was already making her feel.

  He lowered himself to the cushion of the couch, still holding her tight. Her mouth found his again, and the kiss deepened, his tongue seeking entrance.

  Yes!

  She welcomed him in, the fiery sensation so familiar that an ache settled in her chest. But only for a minute.

  Tucker’s hands went to her waist, urging her to face him, mouths coming unlocked for a second or two as she scrambled to find a way to do what he wanted. Then she had a knee on either side of his thighs. And the second she lowered herself onto his lap, she knew it was over. This night was not going to end the way she’d expected it to when she came through the door to that office.

  What did it matter? Because in this moment in time there was absolutely no place she would rather be than in his arms.

  CHAPTER SIX

  IT HAD BEEN so long. Too long. And the engine that couldn’t all of a sudden could. And how.

  It had roared to life with a suddenness that had sent his whole world spinning through space.

  Why had it seemed so impossible before? He had no idea.

  His hands went to her hips and shifted them down and forward, using the pressure to ease the ache that was forming in his groin. Only it didn’t ease it. It made it jerk with a need that had him groaning for release.

  “Damn.” His hands went under her blouse, fingers scraping up the length of her spine before tangling in her hair. Those glorious, lustrous strands that had driven him crazy with need time after time. Oh, the things he’d done with them. With her.

  Too many wants and needs to satisfy all at once. So he would start with this one.

  The buttons on her blouse were calling him, so he undid one pearly bauble after another, revealing white lace beneath it all.

  God.

  Soft swells of pale flesh rose and fell with her breathing. And if she lowered herself onto him and pumped, that flesh would jiggle in a way that would drive him over the edge.

  She was gorgeous. She always had been. But motherhood had added something that fit her to a T.

  A squiggle of unease went through him.

  No. Don’t think about that. Not right now. A gentle tug on her hair had her neck arching back and soon his mouth was on her throat, sliding up to her ear, nipping the lobe. “Do you want this as much as I do?”

  “Can’t you tell?” The words rumbled against his skin, her breath warming his cheek.

  “Not yet. Let’s find out for sure. Stand up for a minute.”

  She blinked down at him, her confusion apparent, but she did as he asked, getting her l
egs under her, forcing him to let go of her hair. The lack of pressure against his zipper caused a pointed protest to go through him.

  That was okay, because he had more important things to do right now. He undid the top of her slacks and slid the zipper down. Then he slid them down her hips and kept going until he reached her calves. Kady took it from there, kicking the garment off the rest of the way. But when she went to reach for her underwear, he stopped her, pulling her forward until she was standing on either side of his legs, her shins pressed against the front of the couch.

  And he couldn’t resist. Filling his hands with her ass, he held her still and pressed his face against the lower curve of her belly, feathering his lips across the silky underwear, making circles that gradually traveled lower and lower until...

  A moan from somewhere overhead and hands that were suddenly in his hair, holding tight, said he’d hit just the right spot. Her parted legs provided the perfect opportunity for his tongue to dip out and find a damp warmth.

  “Mmm, yes, I think you do want this.”

  He should have let her take those panties off, but it was too late now. Besides, he was afraid he’d be tempted to finish things off too quickly. And the last thing he wanted right now was fast.

  So he gently allowed his tongue to push forward and back, the increase in her breathing and tightening of fingers in his hair saying it was having the desired effect.

  He loved driving her crazy. Always had.

  It wasn’t long before he was no longer satisfied with having the thin fabric between them. So he slid a finger beneath the elastic of her leg and eased it over. This time he was skin to skin and the first touch set up a pulsing in his groin that wasn’t going to be denied.

  “Tucker. Oh, God.”

  The sound of his name on her lips undid him. He didn’t want slow any longer. One hand left her butt and moved to his fly, maneuvering until he’d freed himself. All he wanted to do was yank her down and feel that soft flesh slide over him, but he had to do something first.

  He parted her. And kissed her. Right where he knew it counted. Right where experience had told him she liked it.

  His lips closed around that tiny nub of flesh and sucked. Licked. Pulsed against it with rhythmic intent. Suddenly she was frantically pumping, ragged breaths telling him she was almost. Almost. Almost.

  There!

  He felt it the second she went off, and he wrapped an arm around the backs of her thighs, forcing her onto the couch. She was in as much of a hurry as he was, evidently, because she fought against his pull, scooting forward until she was above him, hands on his shoulders, eyes closed. She hesitated for the slightest second.

  “Do it. Hell. Do it, Kady.”

  Then she was pushing down, encasing his aching flesh in a tight velvety space. Dammit. She was still pulsing, the sensations ripping right through any remnants of control he might have had. In an instant he was thrusting up into her, a massive surge of energy propelling him at a frantic rate. He erupted hard, the muscles in his legs turning to rock as his hands forced her down as far as she would go, his mind blanking out everything except the fierce waves of pleasure. Waves he never wanted to end. Hoped would go one and on and on.

  Little by little, they subsided, his muscles starting to uncoil. His strokes slowed until her bottom was resting on his thighs. He tipped her against his chest as he leaned back against the sofa cushions behind him. His eyes had long since closed, and he had no desire to open them again. Except things were still happening. The rational side of his brain, which had been idling along in the background, began to move forward, a million questions starting to swirl and form actual thoughts.

  What had just happened?

  When could it happen again?

  And how was he going to talk her into it?

  Um, he was not going to talk anyone into anything.

  He wasn’t the only one who was starting to come to the conclusion that something enormous had just taken place. Kady shifted against him. He realized that he hadn’t even gotten undressed. And Kady was barely undressed, her underwear pulled to the side, her bra still fastened in front.

  And he’d forgotten to watch them jiggle.

  That thought made him smile. He hadn’t been in any condition to watch anything. He’d been on a fast track to disaster.

  No. It wasn’t a disaster.

  Was it?

  Oh, hell. Maybe it was.

  Before he could ease her away from him, she sat up, her hands propelling her up and off his lap with a suddenness that made him grunt.

  “Sorry,” she said.

  She didn’t look sorry. And he wasn’t sure if he should be apologizing or what. His head was still fuzzy and his mouth felt like it had been sucked dry by a vacuum. And he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to say. Or feel.

  Her fingers hurried to her shirt and yanked it closed around her, buttons going back into their holes. Something was wrong.

  Well, yeah, that was pretty obvious.

  No. Not that.

  Something was going on that was different than simply having sex.

  Did she still have feelings for him?

  His chest stuttered with something he could have sworn was fear.

  What the hell had he been thinking?

  By the time she’d yanked her slacks on, he’d decided he was definitely going to issue an apology. A big one. One that would cover any number of wrongs.

  Before he got a chance, though, she scrubbed her hand up and down her other arm and took a deep breath. “I have something important I need to ask you.”

  No. She wasn’t going to talk about feelings, was she? He was in no shape to try to stop and dissect what they’d just done. Not with his legs still shaking, and his head still trying to figure out where it was. Or how he’d let any of this happen.

  It was just sex.

  Right?

  He forced the words out of his throat. “What is it?”

  Dropping on to the couch next to him, she clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m not quite sure how to phrase this.”

  The feeling of impending doom that had been slowly circling overhead for the past three or four minutes darkened to storm cloud proportions. Irritation swept through his system, blotting out much of the pleasure he’d just experienced. “Just ask your question, Kady.”

  “Is there any chance I could get...? Um, did you...? Is there any way I can get pregnant from what we just did?”

  He frowned, trying to form her words into something that made sense. “Pregnant.”

  His brain seized, sending bile washing up his throat when he realized what she was asking. She was wondering if he’d done what he’d been so determined not to do after Grace’s death.

  What in the name of everything holy was she implying?

  Or maybe it wasn’t what she was implying. Maybe the whole encounter had been planned, hoping to get around his refusals and get what she wanted.

  No. Kady wouldn’t do that. It was one thing he could state with all certainty. She didn’t operate by subterfuge. If she wanted something, she asked.

  At least the Kady he’d known before had. And this new, independent Kady? Was that how she operated as well? Did she think that if she somehow got pregnant, she could force them back together?

  She’d given no indication that she was interested in him that way anymore. Until that kiss.

  But...pregnant?

  He was going to shoot down any tiny fragment of hope before it could form. In either of them.

  “I had a vasectomy. I told you I was going to.” He zipped himself back in. “So no. There’s no chance. I’ve had follow-up exams just to make sure.”

  Her brows puckered. “Did you really hate being a father that much?”

  “No, I hated losing a daughter that much.”

  And I hated not bei
ng able to make love to her mother afterward.

  The fear of another pregnancy had paralyzed him. Obviously the surgery had fixed whatever had been broken.

  No. It hadn’t. It had simply fixed the symptom of that broken part of him. Yes, he could function again—and hell if it hadn’t felt great—but the second she’d said the word pregnant, his heart had frozen into a block of ice that nothing could reach.

  “I lost a daughter too, Tucker.”

  He got to his feet. “I realize that. Did you come to New York with an agenda?”

  “What? No, of course not.” The area between her brows puckered in anger. “How can you even say that? I never expected tonight to happen.”

  “Sorry.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “This whole idea of pregnancy came on awfully quick. It never even crossed my mind.”

  She gave a dry laugh. “Maybe because you knew it was impossible. But I certainly didn’t. And I needed make sure that if I did get pregnant anytime soon, I would know with certainty you aren’t the father.”

  If she...

  “How the hell would you get pregnant?”

  Up went a brow.

  “Let me rephrase that. Who would you be getting pregnant with?” If she said she had a boyfriend, he was going to punch a hole through the nearest flat object.

  She crossed her arms under her breasts. “That’s none of your business.”

  Anger threaded through his innards. “Lady, you just asked me if there was any possibility I was going to father a child with you. I think I have a right to know why.”

  Kady moved behind his desk, maybe needing to put some space between them. Well, she needn’t have bothered, because right now there was an emotional gulf the size of a couple of universes between them.

  “Fine, you want to know? I’m looking for a sperm donor.”

  A couple more layers of ice coated his chest wall. “And you thought I might be willing to oblige? Only you forgot one tiny detail. To ask permission.”

  Up went her chin. “I never needed your permission, because you were the last person I would have asked. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” Her hand swept toward the couch.